Overheard at a filling station

 Male, 60s:  Hell, we’ve got more gays getting married these days than standard people

Overheard at a hardware store

 Male, 50s:  My brother can’t sell his house . . . Because no one will buy it!

Overheard in a parking lot

 Female, Teens:  Right after church, she told me that she was going to beat my ass.

Overheard at the bank

 Male, 70s:  I’m all out of sync today.  I ran out of coffee and I didn’t get to read the obituaries.

Overheard at a popular quick-service restaurant

 Male, 30s:  Like Kid Rock said, “I can smell a building inspector from a mile away.”

Overheard at a popular quick-service earery

 Male, 70s: I don’t care if he was born here.  He’s still a foreigner.

Overheard at a shopping mall

 Male, 20s: I don’t need to know what’s going on in this country.

Overheard at a discount hairstyling shop

 emale:  I love cinnamon.  I’ll eat any thing with cinnamon on it. . . .  Yeah, even that.

Overheard in a grocery checkout line

 Female, 40s:  I have to call you back.  My panties are falling down.

Overheard on a bus

 Female, 20s:  I have to go home first and clean up down there

Overheard at a donut shop

Overheard at a donut shop

ale 20s:  Yeah, I got fired. . . I didn’t show up, but they never called to remind me or anything.

Overheard on a bus

 Female, 20s:  Hello? . . . Hello? . . . Hello? . . . Hello? . . . Hello?

Overheard at a popular quick-service restaurant

 Female, at least 18 (I hope):  Guess what Trevor sent me for Valentine Day . . . A picture of his, uh, (whispering) thing.

Overheard on a bus

 Male. 20s :  Yeah, I lost my new job. . . . They said I was on probation, but I’ve never been arrested.

Overheard at a bus stop

 Male, late 20s:  I’m goin’ over to the store to swipe a Sunday paper.

Overheard at a fast-food restaurant.

 Female, 70s: It’s so cold in here.  I come in here almost every day and it’s always so darn cold.  I hate it here.

Overheard at a bus stop.

 Male, 60s:  I made up that “Who Let the Dogs Out?” about three years ago.

Overheard at a popular quick-serviuce restaurant

 Female, 40s:  . . . that’s why we called him “stinky feet.”

Overheard at a coffee shop.

 Female, 40s:   I had a good poop today.

Overheard on a bus

 Female:  It all changes when you get married.  Thank God!!

Overheard at a popular discount emporium.

 Female, 20s:  Sure, I’ll come over, as long as you give me two bucks.

Overheard on Groundhog Day

 Female, 20s:  I just think it’s amazing that animals like that can sense things like the weather. 

Overheard at a bus stop

Male 20s:  Don’t you hang up on . . .