Overheard at a bus stop

 Male, 60s:  I hit it big on the slots, yesterday . . . SLOTS!  With an “O”!

Overheard in a popular quick-service restaurant

 Male, 60s:  Have you seen my glasses? . . . Well, look around.  Look on the kitchen table . . . Never mind, I’ve got ‘em.  Go back to sleep.

Overheard at a grocery store

 Male, teens:  They don’t have that stuff you want . . . That strawberry stuff . . . I’m in the jelly aisle . . . I don’t know what “reserves” look like.

Overheard in a grocery checkout lane

 Female, 30s:  Then she said, “God bless Mommy and Daddy, Uncle Jeff and Uncle Johnny and Aunt Carmen . . . Yeah, I hate being lumped in with those losers.

Doctor! Doctor! I’ve got World Cup Fever!

Doctor!  Doctor!  I’ve got World Cup Fever!
Can you give me some kind of reliever!
            He said, “When we lose,
            You’ll contract World Cup Blues
As you go from believer to griever.

Go USA Soccer . . . I mean Futbol!

Overheard in a popular quick-service restaurant

 Female, 70s;  I know it’s your cat, but “Smudge” is not a girl’s name.

Overheard in a diner

 Female, about 50:  I’m so hot right now.  My bra is wringing wet and my pants are sticky.

Overheard on a residential sidewalk

 Female, teen;  Guess who did it last night. . . . No, not me.  I wish.

Overheard at a coffee shop

Male, 50s;  Excuse do you have any Grey Poupon? . . . Well how about some Brown Poopon?  (followed by giddy laughter)

Overheard outside a tobacco store

Male, 70s;  They should show Heidi on TV again.

Overheard in a popular quick-service restaurant

 Since Jim died, I have to find a doctor.  I had been taking some of his meds and those ran out.

Overheard in a parking lot

Female, 70s:  If you’re going to McDonalds, get me a small chicken noodles . . . I didn’t say anything about soup . . . Small pack of CHICKEN NOODLES!

Overheard in a popular quick-service restaurant

 Male, 70s – Hello, I received some papers that say I have $70,000 with your company . . . I want to know where it came from.

Overheard in a grocery checkout

 Female, 60s:  So, they tied up the game in the eight inning and those poor people had to stay there for 8 more innings and go home in the dark.  Somebody should fix that.