Overheard on a bus

 Male. 20s :  Yeah, I lost my new job. . . . They said I was on probation, but I’ve never been arrested.

Overheard at a bus stop

 Male, late 20s:  I’m goin’ over to the store to swipe a Sunday paper.

Overheard at a fast-food restaurant.

 Female, 70s: It’s so cold in here.  I come in here almost every day and it’s always so darn cold.  I hate it here.

Overheard at a bus stop.

 Male, 60s:  I made up that “Who Let the Dogs Out?” about three years ago.

Overheard at a popular quick-serviuce restaurant

 Female, 40s:  . . . that’s why we called him “stinky feet.”

Overheard at a coffee shop.

 Female, 40s:   I had a good poop today.

Overheard on a bus

 Female:  It all changes when you get married.  Thank God!!