Overheard at a coffee shop

 Female, 50s  He’s probably playing that World of Warpath . . . What did I say?

Overheard in a convenience store

 Male, 70s:  He was fine until they gave him the chicken vaccine.

Overheard at the bus stop

 Female, late teens: Nervous?  I had butt-crack sweat all day!

Overheard in a checkout lane

Female, 20s:  I said I got paid last night!

Overheard at a strip mall

 Female, 30s:  We can either pay the gas bill or get a bag of weed.  We can’t do both.

Overheard at a filling station

 Male, 60s:  Hell, we’ve got more gays getting married these days than standard people

Overheard at a hardware store

 Male, 50s:  My brother can’t sell his house . . . Because no one will buy it!