Overheard at a shopping mall

 Female, 20s:  First of all, she dresses like a whore. . . I know she is, but she doesn’t have to dress like one.

Overheard in a discount store

 Female, 40s:  He was drooling so much, my pants were all wet

Overheard in a convenience store

 Male, 30s:  I am not a communist!  I just don’t like football!

Overheard at a grocery store

 Male, 50s:  You tell me what you want and I’ll tell you if I’m busy.

Overheard at a drug store

 Female, 70s:  That Bill, he never gives me time to pee.

Overheard at a popular quick-service restaurant

 Female, 30s:  Don’t make me yell “I need tampons!” in the middle of a restaurant.

Overheard at a bus stop

 Female, 20s:  Just make sure he doesn’t eat his own (whispering) poop.