Cell phone conversation overheard in a parking lot

Female, 30s:  He was trying to stick it in the wrong hole.

Overheard at a popular quick-service restuarant

 Male, 60s:  I’m watching CNN. . . .  They’ve got the girl with the big boobs* on. . .  I'll be here 'til 10.

*Robin Meade

At a hardware store

 Male, 30s:  What does teal look like?

Overheard in a parking lot.

 Male, 50s:  I’m almost home.  Clear the bathroom.

Overheard at a bus stop

Female, 40s:  I’m calling to see if you have the results from my drug test . . . (after offering confidential identity information) . . . Yes!

Overheard at a grocery store

 Female, 30s:  Tell your Father he’s a bad boy and I’ll deal with him later.

Overheard at a popular quick-service restaurant

 Female, 70s:  It says in the paper that somebody reported that their garbage can was stolen.  Go and check on ours.